one liner jokes

My girlfriend always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator...

I guess we are raised differently.

Why are there never any "Good" side effects on medicines?

For once, I'd like to read a label on a medicine bottle that says, "May Cause Extreme Sexiness!!!"

I entered my first marathon and finished first!

Two steps into it I stubbed my toe and finished, first.

What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet?

A desserter.