All my life I thought air was free…
Until I bought a bag of chips.
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today...
That’s 7 years in a row now...
Donna: "I can tell if someone is lying just by looking at him."
Ashley: "Really?"
Donna: "Yep. I can tell if he is standing too."
I used to spin toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune...
Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe!