Best Jokes

A rookie pitcher is struggling on the mound, so the catcher walks up to have a quick talk with him.

"I think I've figured out your problem," the catcher tells the shaky pitcher. "You always lose control at exactly the same point in every game."

The pitcher feels a little relieved, thinking he has the answer to his issue. "When do I usually lose my control?" he asks his teammate.

"It's usually," the catcher admits, "right after the national anthem."

A Grammar freak arrogant wife texts to her husband...

You are as useless as "ueue" in the word Queue.

After we had lunch with another couple, the girls went shopping, and the guys opted to go sailing. Bad decision as a storm blew in while us guys were out on the water.

Making matters worse, the tide had gone out, grounding the boat. We had to climb overboard and shove it back into deep water.

As my friend stood there, ankles deep in muck, muscles straining against the weight of the boat, and rain pelting his face, he grinned broadly and with unmistakable sincerity said, "Sure beats shopping!"