Best Jokes

A Grammar freak arrogant wife texts to her husband...

You are as useless as "ueue" in the word Queue.

After we had lunch with another couple, the girls went shopping, and the guys opted to go sailing. Bad decision as a storm blew in while us guys were out on the water.

Making matters worse, the tide had gone out, grounding the boat. We had to climb overboard and shove it back into deep water.

As my friend stood there, ankles deep in muck, muscles straining against the weight of the boat, and rain pelting his face, he grinned broadly and with unmistakable sincerity said, "Sure beats shopping!"

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. Johnny asked his mom, “Where’d he come from?”

"He came from heaven, Johnny.”

“Wow! I can see why they threw him out!”