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Favorite this joke A sailor didn't like anything he saw in the mess/food line, so he just picked up a large piece of chocolate cake. The cook asked, "Is that all you're gonna eat?"
The sailor said, "Yeah, the rest of it doesn't look too appetizing."
The cook smiled and said, "Well, in that case would you like two pieces of cake?"
The sailor said, "Yeah, man, I'd appreciate it!"
The cook leaned over and cut the sailor's piece of cake in half.
Teacher: Well, Little Johnny, I see some improvement in your work. There are only three words that have been misspelled.
Little Johnny: Thank you.
Teacher: Now let’s look at the second sentence!
I got called pretty today...
The full statement was “you’re pretty annoying”, but I only focus on positive things.
I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry...
He had selfie steam issues.
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