When my wife was in labor, I would tell her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused. It must have been the delivery.
Did you hear about the yogic guru who had a terrible toothache? He wouldn't let the dentist give him any painkillers. He wanted to transcend dental medication.
John: Do you know how big the world's biggest nose was? David: Eleven inches John: That's not very long. David: If it was any longer, it would be a foot.
Why don't bald men have keys? It's because they don't have locks!