puns jokes

Category: "Puns"
$7.00 won 2 votes

Don't ever run with Bagpipes...

You could poke an eye out...

Or worse yet, you could get kilt!

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Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "wadejagz" |
$6.00 won 1 votes

The ship was sinking and four sailors were able to get a lifeboat into the water and climb into it safely. As they relaxed, they decided to have a cigarette and relax a few moments before starting their journey to safety.

The cigarettes were dry but all their matches had become wet. They had no way to light their cigarettes. Finally, one of the sailors came up with a solution. He threw away one cigarette overboard.

"What are you doing?" asked one of the other sailors.

"Don't worry, this will work," he began. "The lifeboat is a cigarette lighter now!"

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Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
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What do you call a conductor who is always giving his orchestra grief?

A treble maker.

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posted by "wadejagz" |
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The African chieftain was so religious that when he ascended to power, he forbade the killing of animals.

Not long after that the lion and cheetah population began to get out of hand. Starving in the wild, they began feeding on humans. Before long, even the antelope and zebra were so plentiful that they began nibbling on natives.

The terrified populace petitioned their leader to rescind his edict. He refused. Thus, they had no choice but to overthrow the chief.

Not only was the revolt successful, it was the first time in history that a reign was called on account of game.

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posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |