A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.
"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."
"Is that a record?" she inquired.
"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."
There once was a Russian guy named Olaf who was mean, rude, and crude. One day his wife and her friend were in the kitchen discussing Christmas. Suddenly Olaf shouted, "It's gonna rain any moment now!"
Next thing you know it starts raining. The wife's friend is shocked. She said, "How in the world did he know that?"
Without missing a beat the wife said to her, "Rude Olaf the Red knows rain dear."