Why was England once the geometry capital of the world?
Because it was originally settled by the Angles.
Why did the man show up for jury duty with a towel and sunscreen?
Because when he called in to make sure he had to come downtown to serve, the jury coordinator told him to come prepared to stay all day in the jury pool.
If Shaq were:
A banana - he’d be Shaquille O’Peel
A shade of blue green - he’d be Shaquille O’Teal
A criminal - he’d be Shaquille O’Steal
A poker player - he’d be Shaquille O’Deal
Overly emotional - he’d be Shaquille O’Feel
A doctor - he’d be Shaquille O’Heal