Best Jokes

$15.00 won 8 votes

A climate scientist and a climate-change denier walk into a bar. The climate-change denier goes to the bartender and asks for the strongest drink in the house.

The bartender takes out a bottle and says, "This is Absinthe, about 75% alcohol. Can I sell you a glass?"

The climate-change denier gets all upset and leaves the bar in a huff. The climate scientist says to the bartender, "Those climate-change deniers! You can show them the proof but they still won't buy it!

8 votes

posted by "maryjones" |
8 votes

An early visitor to the local donut shop was explaining, "I love to hear the alarm clock go off. I can't understand people who are annoyed. To me it seems to symbol the symbol of our existence itself. It is a sign that a great city is awaking from its deep slumber, that a new day is beginning, that the streets and buildings will soon be filled with surging progressive life. I love the sound of the alarm clock."

Another patron replied, "My you are the ambitious one. What line of business are you in?"

"I am a night watchman."

8 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
posted by "Pshark1998" |
8 votes

Railroad agent: "Here's another farmer who is suing us on account of his cows."

Supervisor: "One of our trains has killed them, I suppose?"

Agent: "No, he claims our trains go by so slow that the passengers lean out the window and milk them when they go by."

8 votes

posted by "barber7796" |
8 votes

The mother to be wrote to Washington for a pamphlet on the subject of "Prenatal Care". A few days later she received a reply regretfully informing her that the requested pamphlet was out of stock but as soon as it was available it would be sent to her.

Quite a few months passed and the lady received a package from the bureau. The Superintendent of Public Documents apologized for the delay and felt that under the circumstances they could take the liberty of substituting the pamphlet originally asked for with another, "Infant Care".

8 votes

CATEGORY Baby Jokes
posted by "barber7796" |