Two sailors were marooned on a tropical island. One insisted on building a raft and leaving immediately. The other wanted to wait and rest.
"Yea, but if these cannibals catch you, they'll eat you," said the first.
"I don't care. Let them kill me, let them throw me in the pot and cook me. They'll be sorry. "
"Because I'm not what I'm cooked up to be," retorted the second.
A ill business owner was discussing with his lawyer a final draft of his last will and testament.
"Well," as he was discussing with his lawyer, "I want to put in a clause for my employees. To those that have worked for me for 20 years or longer I want to give and bequeath the amount of $50,000."
His Lawyer reminded him that he has not been in business 20 years. The business owner replied, "I know, but it's going to be great advertising!"
Fresh from graduation the rookie policeman called the precinct to report his first robbery: "Chief, a man has been robbed down here and I've got one of them."
Chief: "Great job. Which one of them do you have?"
Rookie: "I have the one that has been robbed."