Best Jokes
Favorite this joke During tryouts for one of the chorus positions in the upcoming musical The Sound of Music, one of the girls told the judges, "Mother says I sing beautifully."
The judge replied, "Bring me a recommendation from your neighbors and I'll give you a tryout."
After sitting down, Jupiter says, "I'm the biggest planet, give me the biggest beer you have."
Saturn says, "I'm the best looking planet, give me the fanciest drink you have."
Pluto says, "I know I'm not a planet, but give me a shot!
Customer: "How much is the hamburger steak?"
Butcher: "$1.98 cents a pound."
Customer: "But at the corner market is is only $0.98 cents a pound."
Butcher: "Then you should go there to buy it."
Customer: "But they are all out of it."
Butcher: " Oh, I see. When we don't have any we sell it for $0.50 cents a pound."
Two sailors were marooned on a tropical island. One insisted on building a raft and leaving immediately. The other wanted to wait and rest.
"Yea, but if these cannibals catch you, they'll eat you," said the first.
"I don't care. Let them kill me, let them throw me in the pot and cook me. They'll be sorry. "
"Why?"
"Because I'm not what I'm cooked up to be," retorted the second.
Free Daily Joke