Best Jokes

$12.00 won 8 votes
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Terry slammed his cards on the table and left the game in a huff.

"Boy," said another player disgustingly, "I really hate playing cards with a bad loser."

"He isn't very pleasant," another player said, raking in the chips, "but it's better than playing with a good winner."

8 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$8.00 won 8 votes

My wife was getting annoyed that I kept leaving freezer door open and it kept on defrosting.

We have since split up, it’s all water under the fridge.

8 votes

Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Richard Felt" |
8 votes
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Floyd had taken his girlfriend on their third date and she had spoken to a nice-looking man at the next table.

"Is that man a friend of yours?" ask Floyd.

"Yes," she replied.

"Then I think I'll ask him to join us."

"Oh Floyd, this is so sudden!"

"What's so sudden?"

"Why he's our minister."

8 votes

posted by "barber7796" |
$10.00 won 8 votes

It was my first night caring for an elderly patient. When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the bed as possible and, using the techniques I’d learned in school, grasped him in a bear hug to lift him onto the bed. But I couldn’t clear the top of the mattress. So I grabbed him again, summoned all my might, and hoisted him onto the bed.

When the night shift nurse arrived, I recounted what had happened. “Funny,” she said, looking puzzled. “Usually I just ask him to get in bed, and he does.”

8 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "maryjones" |