Best Jokes

On a beautiful sunny summer morning there were two cows in a field.

The first cow said "mooo" and the second cow said "baaaaaa."

The first cow was surprised and asked the second cow, "Why did you say "baaaaa?"

The second cow replied, "I am learning a foreign language."

Little Johnny: "My pa is very religious. He always bows his head and says a prayer before meals."

Dick: "Mine always says something when he sits down to eat. But he does not bow his head."

Little Johnny: "What does he say?"

Dick: "Go easy on the butter, its up to a dollar and half a pound."

Two drunks were babbling about when they were born as they leaned heavily against the bar.

"You know," said one, "when I was born I weighed a pound and a half, and that's a fact."

"You don't say," said the other. "And did you live?"

"Did I live?" exclaimed the first. "Heck man, you ought to see me now."