My pet mouse Elvis died today...
He was caught in a trap.
Whoever stole my anti depressants...
I hope you’re happy now!
My sister is a know-it-all who bristles at anyone’s well-intentioned advice. But when our older sister gave her several clever tips, she was impressed.
"I have to hand it to Pat," she told me. "She really is smart. Not Jeopardy smart, more like Wheel of Fortune smart."
My 90-year-old dad was giving a talk at our local library about his World War II experiences.
During the question-and-answer period, he was asked, “How did you know the war was over?”
He replied, “They stopped shooting at me.”