Best Jokes

$15.00 won 7 votes

Classmates at college were lamenting the cost of long distance phone service and debating the relative advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint.

"I've found CTC to be the cheapest plan around," offered one.

"CTC? Who are they?"

"You know," he responded. "Call Them Collect."

7 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "ELECTION " |
$10.00 won 7 votes
 

My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?”

So I took her to dinner and a movie then dropped her off at her parents’ house.

7 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Danny Jackson" |
$25.00 won 7 votes

Rushing to get to the movies, my husband and I told the kids we had to leave "right now" — at which point our teenage daughter headed for the bathroom to apply makeup. Her dad yelled for her to get in the car immediately, and headed for the garage grumbling.

On the way to the multiplex my husband glanced in the rearview mirror and caught our teen applying lipstick and blush, which produced the predictable lecture. "Look at your mom," he said. "She didn’t put on any makeup just to go sit in a dark movie theater."

From the back I heard, "Yeah, but Mom doesn’t need makeup." My heart swelling with the compliment, I turned back to thank this sweet, wonderful daughter of mine just as she continued, "Nobody looks at her."

7 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "stee" |
$25.00 won 7 votes

You wanna hear a dirty joke?

A boy fell in a mud puddle.

You wanna hear a clean joke?

He took a bath.

7 votes

CATEGORY Puns
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "ajokes" |