Best Jokes

8 votes

Little Johnny's mother was asking him a question and he replied: "Mother, you took the words right out of my ears."

Mother: "No, that's not right. It's you took the words right out of my mouth."

Little Johnny: "But I heard it before."

8 votes

posted by "Egbert" |
$6.00 won 8 votes

A man was looking out his window when he noticed that there was a snail on one of his plants. So he took the snail and threw him as far as he could.

Ten years later the old man heard a tap tap tap on his window, and when he looked up he saw a very cross snail who looked at him and said, “Hey, what did you do that for?!”

8 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Mounika" |
$12.00 won 8 votes

Little Johnny, instead of an apple, would daily bring his new teacher a pretzel from his uncle's bakery. She always thanked Little Johnny but one day she said, "These pretzels are very good but do you think your uncle could make them with no salt?"

Every day afterwards the pretzel was salt free. After a while the teacher felt she was making too much extra work for Little Johnny's uncle to make them without salt especially for her.

"Little Johnny, I hope your uncle is not going to any great time to prepare the pretzel without salt?"

"Oh no," replied Little Johnny, "he doesn't make them without salt. I lick the salt off."

8 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Benjones" |
$9.00 won 8 votes

Little Johnny was spending a week on his Uncle Pete's farm and was helping with the chores. One day he was helping the farm hands to spread out a stack of hay to dry out.

Finally Little Johnny could contain his curiosity no longer so he asked, as he was wiping his brow, "Uncle Pete, is it a needle in a haystack we're looking for?"

8 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "barber7796" |