Nostradamus made note that his prophesies came to him in bilateral form. He would first imagine the future in written word followed by visuals of the event some time after. Recently in France a secret chamber was discovered in the former residence of Nostradamus, proving his bilateral claim to be true.
Researchers found a waste paper basket with a single wad of paper in it which read:
There will be three beloved men who will come to power in the same century. These men will be called Chuck E Cheese, Ronald MacDonald and some guy named Jack.
Apparently after receiving the visuals, he decided to scrap this particular prophecy.
Husband: Why is the food cold and bland?
Wife: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.
A defendant isn’t happy with how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time.
Judge: “Where do you work?”
Defendant: “Here and there.”
Judge: “What do you do for a living?”
Defendant: “This and that.”
Judge: “Take him away.”
Defendant: “Wait! When will I get out?”
Judge: “Sooner or later.”
One day, a young girl went to the doctor with both sides of her face burned.
The doctor asked, "What happened?"
The girl replied, "Well, I was ironing my boyfriend's shirt until the phone rang. I picked it up and half my face was burnt!"
The doctor replied, "What about the other half?" The girl answered, "They called back!"