There are three kinds of men in this world...
Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened???
(Dumb Criminal) Never pick the pocket of a guy wearing a wedding ring!
(Trainee) Why, because he’s a family man and needs the money?
(Dumb Criminal) No, because his wife already beat you to it.
Nostradamus made note that his prophesies came to him in bilateral form. He would first imagine the future in written word followed by visuals of the event some time after. Recently in France a secret chamber was discovered in the former residence of Nostradamus, proving his bilateral claim to be true.
Researchers found a waste paper basket with a single wad of paper in it which read:
There will be three beloved men who will come to power in the same century. These men will be called Chuck E Cheese, Ronald MacDonald and some guy named Jack.
Apparently after receiving the visuals, he decided to scrap this particular prophecy.
Husband: Why is the food cold and bland?
Wife: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.