My pig developed a rash, so the veterinarian prescribed an oinkment.
I have had a really good grades since the first grade, my mother is always proud of me every time she sees my report card.
Good thing she doesn't know I always show her the same report card.
In school we were taught that Hannibal crossed the Alps with elephants. However, none of the offspring survived.
A student decides he wants to skip school one day
Student (on phone): Hello. I am calling to inform the school that my son will not be able to attend school today.
School: And who is this?
Student: This is my mom!