Latest Jokes

2 votes

A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend.

The physicist: "A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment."

The mathematician: "A wife. You have security."

The computer scientist: "Both. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it's vice versa. Then I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me." 

2 votes

posted by "tweetyr" |
$5.00 won 11 votes

A client called my help desk saying she couldn’t send an e-mail. When I was done troubleshooting the problem, she interrupted me to ask, “Wait a minute, do I type @ in lower or uppercase?”

11 votes

CATEGORY Computer Jokes
posted by "mickey" |
$8.00 won 12 votes

My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his super-critical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he invited over three other female friends as well and didn’t tell his mom which one he intended to marry. After the four women left, he asked his mother, "Can you guess which one I want to marry?"

"The one with short hair."

"Yes! How’d you know?"

"Because that’s the one I didn’t like."

12 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "mickey" |
0 votes

A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well — until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Lawyer: "Have you any grounds?"

Man: "Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home."

Lawyer: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

Man: "It’s made of concrete."

Lawyer: "I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?"

Man: "No, we have a carport."

Lawyer: "I mean, what are your relations like?"

Man: "All my relations are still in Poland."

Lawyer: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

Man: "We have a high-fidelity stereo and good DVD player."

Lawyer: "Does your wife beat you up?"

Man: "No, I always wake up before her."

Lawyer: "Sir, exactly why do you want this divorce?"

Man: "She's going to kill me."

Lawyer: "What makes you think that?"

Man: "I have proof."

Lawyer: "What kind of proof?"

Man: "She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle and put it on the shelf in the bathroom. I can read it and it says ... 'Polish remover.' "

0 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |