After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room.
Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping.
His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted.
In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed, and then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"
Q: What did the potato chip say to the battery?
A: If you are eveready I am frito-lay.
A cop pulls over a guy and says, "Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"
"Gee, officer," the man replies. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"
An office employee knowing his boss was off for the day transferred the office telephone # to his own cell phone and took it with him to play golf.
The boss called and asked how everything was going and the employee said fine.
The boss then said, can you move a little faster I'm in the foursome behind you.