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Favorite this joke Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days.
The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, "Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord."
He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion.
As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: "Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive."
A Mitochondrion walks into a bar and asks for some energy.
The barman says: "That'll be 80p!"
One evening I was in a bar talking to my friend.
"Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house.."
"Did he get anything?" asked my friend.
"Yes," I said.
"A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk!"
4th Place
won
$12.00
My best old friend asked me, "How do you keep your marriage so fresh?"
I said, "Well for the last 30 years we've done nothing together and we get along just fine! Why do you ask?"
He replied, "My wife has kind of the same idea."
"Oh?", I said.
"Yea a Divorce!"
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