Latest Jokes
Favorite this joke Three engineering firms were competitively bidding on Red-Sea tunnel project for the government of Egypt. The first engineer stands before the board and begins describing how he will accomplish the task. He says, "We will begin boring from both sides of the sea and join the tubes in the middle. Our plan has 10% margin of error for missing the center point but we have B-plan ready to rectify the error and finish the tunnel."
Second engineer comes in and describes his plan. "We will begin boring on both ends and meet in the middle. Our calculations may have 5% margin of error and our plan B is ready to rectify and connect the tunnel if needed."
Third engineer begins his presentation and says, "We will begin boring on both ends of the sea and meet in the middle. If successful, we'll connect the tubes and you'll have your tunnel. If we are not, then you'll have two tunnels."
How does one feel where there's no coffee?
Depresso!
Prince Charles was walking past a cheering crowd when he spotted a woman holding two babies and surrounded by five pre-teenagers. "Well," says the Prince, "You have a handful. Do you have any other children?"
"Yes, there are seven more at home"
"Your husband deserves a knighthood," said Prince Charles.
The mother replied, "He has plenty of night-hoods, but he refuses to wear them."
After twenty years of shaving himself every morning, a man in a small Southern town decided he had enough. He told his wife that he intended to let the local barber shave him each day. He put on his hat and coat and went to the barbershop, which was owned by the pastor of the town's Baptist church. The barber's wife, Grace, was working that day, so she performed the task. Grace shaved him and sprayed him with lilac water and said, "That will be $20." The man thought the price was a bit high, but he paid the bill and went to work.
The next morning the man looked in the mirror and his face was as smooth as it had been when he left the barbershop the day before. "Not bad," he thought. "At least I don't need to get a shave every day." The next morning the man's face was still smooth! Two weeks later the man was STILL unable to find any trace of whiskers on his face. It was more than he could take, so he returned to the barbershop.
"I thought $20 was high for a shave," he told the barber's wife, "but you must have done a great job. It's been two weeks and my whiskers still haven't started growing back." The expression on her face didn't even change, expecting his comment. She responded, "You were shaved by Grace. Once shaved, always shaved."
Free Daily Joke