Best Jokes

My teenage patient’s mother was concerned. “He must have a temperature,” she said. “He hasn’t taken our motorcycle out all day.”

“Let me ask you,” I said. “Do you have a thermometer?”

“No,” she said. “A Kawasaki.”

Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army.

"My sergeants are wonderful", said one soldier.

"I wish I could say the same about mine," said the other.

"You could if you could lie as I do."

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"

The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."

The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"

The second responds, "God told me I was."

At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"

Husband: Babe, after work I had an accident. Sabrina took me to the hospital. After various tests, they said I was in a bad state with cervical dislocation, multiple facial injuries. Also, they will have to amputate my right leg.

Wife: Who is Sabrina?