Husband: "Now that we are married, perhaps I might venture to point out a few of your little defects."
Wife: "Don't bother, dear. I'm quite aware of them. It was those little defects that prevented me from getting a much better man than you."
Wife: What are your plans for Easter?
Husband: Same as Jesus...
Wife: What do you mean?
Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!
On hearing that the wife retorts,"AWESOME, you do that, I'll do a Mary and show up pregnant untouched by my husband."
The man stayed home.