Father in a conversation with a neighbor...
First son: Degree in Economics
Second son: MBA
Third son: PhD
Fourth son: Thief
Neighbor: Why can't you throw the fourth son out of your house?
Father: He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.
Teeth said to Tongue: "If I press down on you just a little, you will get cut."
Tongue replied: "If I misuse one word, all 32 of you will come out."
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a baby giraffe sitting next to him. "Are you a baby giraffe?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The giraffe replied, "Well, I liked the book."
Wife: What are your plans for Easter?
Husband: Same as Jesus...
Wife: What do you mean?
Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!
On hearing that the wife retorts,"AWESOME, you do that, I'll do a Mary and show up pregnant untouched by my husband."
The man stayed home.