Best Jokes

Teeth said to Tongue: "If I press down on you just a little, you will get cut."

Tongue replied: "If I misuse one word, all 32 of you will come out."

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a baby giraffe sitting next to him. "Are you a baby giraffe?" asked the man, surprised.

"Yes."

"What are you doing at the movies?"

The giraffe replied, "Well, I liked the book."

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"

The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."

The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"

The second responds, "God told me I was."

At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"

Husband: Babe, after work I had an accident. Sabrina took me to the hospital. After various tests, they said I was in a bad state with cervical dislocation, multiple facial injuries. Also, they will have to amputate my right leg.

Wife: Who is Sabrina?