Grandpa always said when one door closes, another one opens...
Great man, horrible cabinet maker.
A woman enters a tattoo parlor. She has tattoos on her shoulder and on her calf and wants them off.
She asks the artist, "How much will it cost to have these tattoos removed?"
He looks at her limbs and says, "An arm and a leg."
Bill: I know a man who drove a stagecoach and it didn’t have any wheels.
Ted: What held it up?
Nile virus - type C.
Virologists have identified a new Nile virus - type C. It appears to target those who were born before 1950. There has been no Vaccine for this as yet.
The Symptoms are:
1. Causes you to send the same message twice.
2. Causes you to send a blank message
3. Causes you to send a message to the wrong person.
4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you.
5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.
6. Causes you to hit SEND before you’ve finished.
7. Causes you to hit DELETE instead of SEND.
8. Causes you to SEND when you should DELETE.
It is called the C-NILE virus.