word play jokes

My wife asked me today if I had seen the dog bowl...

I said I didn’t know he could!

My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes...

It Taurus apart.

"Wise men are always in doubt. Only idiots are sure of their case."

"Are you sure of that?"

"Yes, absolutely."

There's only one reason I would take up walking again...

So that I could hear heavy breathing again.