What is at the end of everything?
The letter 'G'.
The guy who invented the Systane eye drops had his funeral today...
There wasn't a dry eye in the house!
Homeowner: "Why don't you ever mop the floor?"
Cleaning Lady: "I'm sorry ma'am, but it's beneath me."
A guy went to court for a seat belt ticket...
It was an open-and-shut case.