word play jokes

I asked the Lord to tell me, Why my house is such a mess
He asked if I'd been 'computering', And I had to answer 'yes.'

He told me to get off my butt, And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up... The smudges off my mouse.

I wiped and shined the topside. That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my good work. I didn't mean to 'click.'

But click, I did, and oops - I found a real absorbing site
That I got SO way into it - I was into it all night.

So nothing's changed except my mouse. It's as shiny as the sun.
I guess my house will stay a mess... While I sit here on my bum.

Did you hear about the quartet of classical musicians who just completed a recording of twelve Beatles songs done by classical instruments?

After a lengthy discussion, they have decided to name their album Get Bach.

It doesn't surprise me that there's a...

- Rudeville, New Jersey
- Boring, Oregon
- Hell, Michigan
- Hooker, California
- Virgin, Utah
- Dulls Corner, Maryland
- Bowlegs, Oklahoma
- Volcano, Hawaii
- Beersville, Pennsylvania
- Fleatown, Ohio
- Burnt Corn, Alabama
- Two Guns, Arizona
- Toad Suck, Arkansas

My grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.