I called the Good Witch of the East and told her the rain just won't stop in my area.
I asked her if she could do anything about it.
She replied, "I suppose I could do a dry spell."
I lost my job at the circus as a human cannonball.
They found somebody they considered a higher caliber individual.
Counselor: “Mr. Johnson I’d like to request you no longer bring your pet fly to our sessions.”
Mr. Johnson: “But he’s my friend and we go everywhere together”.
Counselor: “Every time I make a suggestion you turn to your fly and then you tell me your fly doesn’t like that suggestion. You need to have an open mind Mr. Johnson, your fly is standoffish and closed to anything new. I don’t know how you can walk around in public with a friend that‘s so closed.”
Mr. Johnson: “My little friend really doesn’t like that suggestion. There’s no way I’m going to walk around in public with an open fly.”
Want to feel old?
A celebrity you’ve never heard of has never heard of a celebrity that you have heard of.