"I received a half dozen really cool ties for my birthday. I guess I'm going to tie one on."
His wife shook her head and said, "Just don't wake me up when you get home!"
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
A grandmother sent her grandson a shirt for his birthday. The only trouble was that he had a size 14 neck and the shirt was size 12.
When the grandson sent a thank you note, he wrote, “Dear Grandma. Thanks a lot for the shirt. I’d write more, but I’m all choked up.”
If there are no stupid questions...
Then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?