I'm not addicted to coffee...
It's more of a committed relationship.
I was walking past a farm and a sign said 'Duck, eggs!'
I thought, "That's an unnecessary comma..."
And then it hit me.
The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune...
But Chickpeas can only “hummus” one!
Two ants were running along the top of a cardboard box as fast as they could.
"Hey!" puffed one ant, "Why are we running so fast?"
"Can't you read?" replied the other. "It says tear along the dotted line!"